verbal croquis

some conversations to drive you mad

Posted in the day job by verbalcroquis on January 24, 2006

I almost never answer the phone, but I will, of course, when the phones get crazy.
Man says:  I got a jacket from you guys a few years ago and I need someone to fix it.
I say:  What do you need altered?
Man says:  I need the lining replaced.  And the cuffs are pretty destroyed.  I think I messed up the zipper.  Oh, and there’s a hole in the pocket.  And there are some stains around the collar.
I think:  What the hell did you do to that thing?  I know people who are still wearing our jackets after 20 years!
I say:  Can you please get your jacket cleaned before bringing it in?  Your total will be $XXX.
Man says:  What!!!  I could get a whole new jacket for that kind of money!
I think:  You practically are getting a whole new jacket, you twit.
Woman says:  I’d like to place an order for style ###.
I say:  How many?
Woman says:  Let me check with my boss.
I say:  What color?
Woman says:  Let me check with my boss.
I say:  What leather?
Woman says: Let me check with my boss.
I say:  Import or domestic?
Woman says:  Let me check with my boss.
I say:  How will you be paying?
Woman says:  Let me check with my boss.
I think:  You wanna also go ask your boss how I’m going to get the last 15 minutes of my life back?
At the tradeshow:
Woman says: You know what I hate about your jackets?  They never fit me in the shoulders.  My shoulders are broad and straight and your jackets don’t accommodate me at all.
I think:  Just because you’re built like Joan Crawford* training for the role of the NFL’s first female linebacker doesn’t mean you get to demand our whole label to alter the fit to suit just you.
I say:  I’ll take your constructive criticism into consideration for next season’s jackets. 
I think:  Alright, Quasimoto, get to steppin’.
*Joan Crawford had notoriously wide shoulders, much to Adrian‘s dismay. 

4 Responses to 'some conversations to drive you mad'

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  1. Moose said,

    This is why I never answer the phone. I just put it on Do Not Disturb for weeks on end. People. Can’t live with ’em, can’t pitch ’em over the side of a cliff.

  2. geekigirl said,

    Re: Alright, Quasimoto, get to steppin’.
    that was the funniest thing i’ve read in awhile. thx

    I hate dealing with people, that”s why I deal with computers. They can be turned off, fixed or in extreme cases smashed. All very satisfying.

  3. Jill said,

    This is sooo funny, I used to be an assistant designer at a leather company I totally can relate to these comments! I started as a sales person and women would always say that the jackets wouldn’t fit in the shoulder’s or through the chest or would say “Why do you guys make your jackets so small don’t you know the average size is now a 14”!

  4. Jill said,

    oh yeah and …. they would always try to return the jacket after 3 or 4 months of wearing it and come back with it trying to return it with holes and dirt all over it!

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