fashion don’ts that drive me nutters
(Carnivale of Couture #2)
Ah, the subject matter that just screams “let’s get catty”. But what the Manolo wants, the Manolo gets.
When I read it the way he phrased it, I can’t help but interpret this in two ways: things I halt and inwardly scream over or fashion don’ts that I don’t understand why it’s a “don’t�. So let’s go over both, shall we?
First, let’s go over things I can’t stand.
Men with overgroomed brows.
Mustaches. On men or women.
Women with freckles who wear so much foundation you can’t see any freckles on her face. You know she has them–you can see them on her neck! That shit is just gross.
Proclamations like “red is the new black”. Please. Stop. This is only allowed with heavy doses of irony.
Overalls with one clip undone. Honey, go home, finish getting dressed, and then come back out.
One-piece snowsuits on anyone over the age of 7.
Purple. I just don’t like it. Don’t ask me explain. That’s another post entirely.
And my number one fashion pet peeve:
When women run errands looking like they just rolled out of bed, pulled something out of the laundry bin, put it on, and carry a really nice fancy beautiful purse. What is going on here? It’s just wrong, I tell ya, just WRONG.
I know this one woman. Ugh. She wears those ugly sweatshirts with doodads on them, with high waisted jeans, really expensive Nike kicks, and carries a [pretty nice label] purse you would wear a power suit with everywhere. I feel that if you’re trying to project a certain image, just go all the way. Don’t half-ass it! Go ugly all the way! Don’t get me started on her perm.
Okay, now that I’ve sufficiently gotten that out of my system (although I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot), here are some things I don’t understand why it’s a fashion “don’tâ€?.
The whole no white shoes after Labor Day thing. Maybe it’s the six years in L.A. talking, where we had nothing but summers and slightly less scorching summers.
(By the way, will someone finally tell me what shoes you’re supposed to wear with a navy suit? I keep hearing brown, but the very idea is unsettling to me.)
Smoking. Oh so very PC to say smoking is bad and unfashionable, but who are we kidding? There are so many sexy images out there of smoking. Consider it a health don’t and give it a rest.
Man-purses. My dad is a very stylish man, in a very Asian mafioso sort of way, and he always travels with a bible-sized black leather purse on a wrist strap. It looks good, and fits his passport, ticket, cigarettes, lighter, and a book for the flight perfectly. You just have to wear it right, have the right presence, which my dad has.
That’s it for now. I gotta go pack.
verbal croquis 
on January 10, 2006 on 6:14 pm
wouldn’t you wear navy and white spectators with the navy suit?
on January 16, 2006 on 7:28 am
what about women?
on January 16, 2006 on 7:06 pm
With navy, I just can’t accept either brown or black for women. I think navy and burgundy are the only acceptable solutions. For men, for some reason, black is always ok, and there’s a shade of brown – cordovan? – that really is more reddish, and I think that would work.
on January 16, 2006 on 11:35 pm
i think the lesson for today is if you either have to have the balls to wear something scandalous with navy or just not wear it at all.
on January 17, 2006 on 4:19 pm
Depending on the navy, the occasion and the outfit:
Red shoes
Burgundy shoes (or cordovan, or wine)
Black shoes (although it does bother me sometimes)
Navy shoes
White shoes
Beige (whatever shade matches your skintone hose) shoes
Olive shoes
Navy spectators (but not black spectators)
Pink shoes (what the heck)
Silver shoes
Copper shoes
Gold shoes
… and, if I were the one wearing the navy, any of the above, but you can probably substitute “boots” for “shoes,” because I would. (Yes, I have spectator boots. What? You don’t?)
… but not brown, tan, or luggage, because it makes me twitch.
on January 18, 2006 on 2:43 pm
Fashions give me headaches. “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication�
on January 19, 2006 on 10:47 pm
I thought you were supposed to wear black patent leather with navy.
on January 20, 2006 on 12:34 am
SEE? I’m not the only one confused.
on July 16, 2010 on 1:27 pm
Officially, black patent leather is for summer only, but I have never understood that. Someone please, if you know why, tell me!
I passed on a pair of patent heels because I just KNEW someone was going to comment on my wearing them year ’round which is EXACTLY what I would have done. They were fabulous, I tell ya, just fabulous.
A French woman would say wear brown accessories with navy but I agree with La BellaDonna. Just don’t try to match navy accessories with a navy suit (ick).
on January 19, 2011 on 2:40 pm
but fashion is good ..